Captain Ron Quotes to Get You Through the Day!



In a sense, we can all identify with Capt. Ron. In another sense, we can take a lesson from him. Remember to relax, drift about, and know that if it is going to happen, it’s going to happen out there! So tear up your map, put just enough gas in your boat, and set sail! Here is a compilation of some of our favorite quotes from Capt. Ron and the crew! Ahoy!

1.) Captain Ron: Alright, that’s more like it, now you’re talking! You can do it, mates! I’ve never seen such sailors. Not in all my born days, I ain’t. Naturals! My God, everyone of you, naturals…
[beat; to himself]
Captain Ron: We’re gonna f***ing die!


2.) Benjamin Harvey: Man. What happened to your eye?
Martin Harvey: Ben.
Katherine Harvey: Sweetie, that’s rude.
Captain Ron: No, that’s alright. Shark attack, swab.
Benjamin Harvey: A shark ate your eye?

3.) Katherine Harvey: We’ll be spontaneous when we have time.

4.) Captain Ron: [telling how he lost his eye] Yeah, it happened when I went down off the coast of Australia.
Katherine Harvey: Your boat sank
Captain Ron: No, no, no, no. Not my boat. My boss’s boat. Yeah, we hit this reef. Huge son-of-a-bitch. Ran the whole coast.
Katherine Harvey: Wait. The Great Barrier Reef?
Captain Ron: You’ve heard of it, huh? Smart lady.

5.) Captain Ron: [to Ben] Hey swab. C’mere. Listen up. Now, the way it works shipboard is, you do your job. You do it images (2)good, you get a better job. Maybe you get promoted from swab to mate.
[Ben nods]
Captain Ron: Alright. Get on it.
Captain Ron: [to Martin] Sort’ve an incentive kind of a deal, huh?
Martin Harvey: Ah. Good.
Captain Ron: Yeah, incentives are important. I learned that in rehab.

6.) Handsome Guerilla: The American girls are very… what’s the word? Superficial.
Caroline Harvey: Yeah. God, I really hate that. Like, I’m into different cultures and different ways of doing things. Like we’re watching “Mr. Ed” on TV the other day, and he’s speaking French, or something.

captainron7.) [Lost in a heavy storm]
Captain Ron: The boss is right. We should be okay. ‘Cause I know we’re near land.
Martin Harvey: Great, Cap. Great. Ya hear that? We’re almost there. Explain to the kids how you know that, Captain Ron. Someone translate for General Armando.
Captain Ron: Alright, now stay with me: When we left, we had just enough fuel to make it to San Juan. And now… we are out of fuel!

8.)Caroline Harvey: Captain Ron, I was wondering. Are we going to be going to any more “human” type places?
Captain Ron: Well, you heard of St. Croix?
Caroline Harvey: Yeah.
Captain Ron: We’re going to the island just to the left of it.
Caroline Harvey: What’s it called?
Captain Ron: Ted’s.

9.) Martin Harvey: Slow down! There’s boats all over the place.
Captain Ron: Don’t worry. They’ll get out of the way. I learned that driving the Saratoga.

images (3)10.) Katherine Harvey: What are we going to do?
Martin Harvey: What can we do? Look around you. The sun is almost up. We are marooned in an unfriendly country. We have no luggage, no money, no passports and worse still… no reason or explanation for even being here!
Katherine Harvey: But we have our boat.
Martin Harvey: No dear. If you’ll look again, you’ll notice that the pirates have our boat.
Caroline Harvey: Now, wait a minute. That’s our boat. We should do something.
Martin Harvey: What are you saying?
Katherine Harvey: I think she’s saying that if the pirates have our boat, we should take it back from them. I say we fight them.
Martin Harvey: Bloodthirsty, heavily armed Cuban pirates against the Harvey clan? It would take a miracle.
[just then a 1950s retro car speeds by them]
Benjamin Harvey: Look! It’s Captain Ron!

11.) Martin Harvey: [Walks down to the Ship’s Cabin] What’s this?
Caroline Harvey: Monopoly.
Martin Harvey: No, this.
[Holding a handgun]
Benjamin Harvey: Two .45’s and a Mac-10.
Caroline Harvey: It’s this total macho trip, Dad, just ignore it.
Martin Harvey: Where’d they come from?
Benjamin Harvey: Captain Ron traded the Guerrillas for ’em.
Captain Ron: Yeah, I thought we’d ought to have them, Boss. Cause, you know, we’re gettin’ into pirate waters, here, pretty quick.
Martin Harvey: What pirates?
Captain Ron: Pirates, of the Caribbean.
Martin Harvey: Been to Disney World, one too many times? Have we, Captain Ron?
Benjamin Harvey: It’s true, Dad! They come up on you in high speed boats!
Captain Ron: You know, I don’t believe I’ve been to Disney World…
[Interrupted by Martin Harvey]
Captain Ron: I’ve been to DollyWood.

Disclaimer* If you haven’t seen Capt. Ron- Then most of what you just read will make little to no sense. But be assured that if you rent it on apple tv or at your local video store, You will not be disappointed!



  1. Don't just RENT Capt. Ron … if you're a past, present, or future cruiser, you need to OWN a copy of Capt. Ron! I find something new to love about that movie every time I watch it. It's a timeless classic that will live forever in the canon of cruising lore.

  2. They had the DVD on sale for $5 at Wal-Mart the other day. I bought two copies, one to watch and one to save for emergencies!

    "You got a little dry rot there, boss. Don't worry, every boat's got some. The good news is that yours is above the water line. Well, most of it, anyway."

  3. It's going to be easy for some to dismiss the new Touchstone Pictures comedy, Captain Ron, as a leaky boatload of predictable gags. But it's what you can't predict that keeps this stupidly amusing seafaring tale afloat, making it surprisingly fun.

Comments are closed.