Charter Tips: Do’s and Don’ts
By Jordan Balbresky
Back before the gray beard and “bald by choice” hairdo, when a tan was a permanent accessory and shoes were saved for special occasions, I had the distinction of answering that useless, I mean “timeless” question, “what do you do?” with a smile.
“I’m a charter boat captain in the Virgin Islands.”
Throughout my life, I always hated that question. “I work in retail.” “I’m a consumer credit counselor.” “I’m a recruiter specializing in accounting and finance.” “I do sales and tech support for a security software company.” “I do marketing specializing in semi-conductors and consumer electronics.”
None of those answers said anything about who I was, until I got my license and a boat to run. Of course, we of that chosen profession tried to make it look easy. That said, it was far from it. On the advice of one of my instructors from one of the many classes I took to get there, I wore sunglasses to protect my eyes, but also to hide the flashes of fear when the wind or waves whip up. I had to get up early for my commute, which included a kayak paddle from the boat I lived on to shore, a drive across the island in a 20-year-old Suzuki Samurai (at the time) held together with duct tape and then a swim out to the charter boat in the middle of the harbor. Every trip, whether a sunset sail, scuba class, snorkel tour or bar crawl meant I had to clean, provision and fuel the boat. If it involved an international trip from the USVI to the BVI, I had paperwork to start. Then I had to get the boat to the pickup location and anchor or dock. During the day, I had music to play based on the tone of the trip and the vibe of the guests, key pirate jokes and celebrity stories to share. The most important job, as captain, was to make sure everyone was happy and safe and at the end of the day got home with a smile on their faces.
Over the years I worked on a wide range of boats and had guests from all walks of life. You had those for whom this was a once in a lifetime experience, who took it all in with wide eyes. They enjoyed every fact and cherished every sight or smell. You had the adventurers looking to top that last adrenaline rush. They just HAD to jump off that cliff or find the shark. Of course, there were the partiers that had to be carried to shore at the end of the day, or the star-struck trying to find out “who lived in that house” or “who’s boat was that”. There were those that just saw the whole thing as a luxury. As they sat there with their fruity umbrella cocktail on the beach, they would wistfully state, “your life is so amazing, I wish I could do this” not seeing the long days, hard work or the state of my home. Most days I truly loved all of my guests. Every once in a while you would get those people that would stand where you needed to see, grab a line that you were reaching for or jump from the boat before it was safely secured and the engines were shut off. Here’s a quick etiquette guide for how to be the perfect charter guest, with hopefully your common questions answered.
As with every career, charter captains range from those who’ve been on boats since birth to those who’ve chosen a second, third or final career path. I started working on boats in my thirties with a few guys who were 18. I’d like to think we both learned a lot from each other. Depending on where you were in the world, some jobs required extensive coursework and licensing, other places did not. Some operations had strict rules of conduct from no drinking on charter to fraternizing with guests, while others did not seem to have any rules. Research your operation and read the reviews before you go on a trip, both from guests to other locals including restaurant and hotel staff. If you are looking for a personal tour with secluded beaches and no crowds around, a smaller boat may be more fun than that 50-person cattle-maran. It might also be worthwhile to spend a little extra to reserve a private charter, though the bartender’s cousin, if qualified and reputable, may be able to give you a great time for a better deal. Just be honest with yourself about what you hope to get out of the experience.
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